Life is strange, I say, as the world implodes

As a child, if you had asked me what I’d be doing as an adult, I — like many — probably would have never guessed where I would end up.

I’ve done a lot of different things. I’ve been in EMS, law enforcement, the military, lived abroad, taught, founded and ran a nonprofit (that is basically defunct as per its original mission), owned businesses, managaged restaurants, managed a warehouse, been a writer, done online marketing, and a few other things (all in no particular order). And many of those things at the same time — I’m not that old, well unless you ask a teenager, probably.

But my latest journey started at the height of COVID in 2020. I started traveling full-time in a cargo trailer that I had converted into a travel trailer.

I had a good online teaching job that paid a very decent wage, which started to decline until its collapse in 2021, as the Chinese government changed its educational rules. We basically lost our jobs overnight. The job was great because it worked well with my angry body.

Fast forward to today, and the whole industry I’m in has gone downhill. It’s oversaturated, filled with greed, and now enters AI.

I’ve tried to get other jobs. I had even tried to be a “creator” on X with photography and stories, but X nor most social media is for us types anymore. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure of the future of this website. I mean — the two people that read anything just aren’t going to pay the bills.

Today, I’m not the person most people think I am. Frankly, I no longer really know who I am or where I’m headed. Since breaking my back in 2015, everything has been a rollercoaster. I deal with pain day in and day out. I was in Arizona, where I got to use distillate, aka THC oil, for my pain and to help me sleep at night, but I’m now in a state where it’s not legal and you can’t get it.

Just like so many, every time I come close to getting ahead, I get put 1000 steps backwards. I’ve thought that I had lost this beast of an RV twice, which is my only mode of transportation. At five miles per gallon, I don’t know that we’d call that transportation. The job market is horrible. Plus, if you have no money, no car, and an RV that looks worse than the one from Breaking Bad, things get complicated.

I’m viewed as a homeless thug often or maybe even a tweaker — probably both. Heck, with my long hair and beard, I had gone to a church years back, and they had a guy who was basically their security come and sit by me because they thought I was homeless. I’ve had ladies clutch their purses and thought, “I’ve got tattoos that cost more than your purse and probably any amount in it.”

All of that before I was living the RV life, so enter the current RV and I am stereotypically that thug. Ironically, I’m going to have to try to get a homeless shelter to help me get a license as I don’t have a physical address and it expires very soon. And of course, all of that with a story in and of itself.

But, you know what? I’ll take that fantastical thug life that others think. I’ve been able to meet many other invisible people — most of whom are elderly and living on the streets or in an RV offgrid or going campground to campground (federal – because they can use an access pass or golden age pass and get half off) because they can’t afford to live anywhere else.

So, while Biden said it and now Trump says that the economy is doing good (things are supposedly cheaper somewhere while housing is still crazy high) and people are making more money — I’ll say it, “For who?” For the rich, definitely, I mean, very few of them have hurt for anything since COVID. They’ve actually kept amassing their wealth. And many people, who have had good paying jobs or are retired and living comfortably, can’t see past themselves and tell everyone that they’re lazy or whatever other excuse to make themselves feel better.

The fact is that the world has changed. It’s grown colder. We can’t see past ourselves to see the pain and misery before us. The United States is a godless nation, led by godless leaders, as is pretty much the world. How can I say that? Open your eyes and look around.

I remember a pastor told me back in 2020 that things were going to get better. I knew they wouldn’t – not to be a pessimist, but I could see the real world around me. And here we are today, clearly worse off as a society. Why? Because we’re godless. We said the heck with Jesus, I can do it on my own.

Am I where I am today because of my own personal sins? Probably a mixture of that and just the way life is going. I’ll never be in a real home again for any foreseeable future. I’ve gotten to the age that no one wants me — and let me make clear we’re not talking about the 50 and over crowd anymore. And in some countries, 30 is old and washed out. I have my physical and financial problems, but so do so many others. We survive.

Some of you are going to find out.

So, what am I saying with all this seemingly vain babbling? Stop saying things such as, “I’m praying for you” or “I’ll pray for you.” I remember writing on those four words circa 2015-2016. How many of you pray? And to whom do you pray? The democrat party, the republican party? Because, let’s be honest, it’s clearly what many worship in this country — that and our other gods. And who is really better off for it?

Am I angry? Am I hurt? Probably a bit of it all. There’s so much more I could say it wouldn’t matter and leads to nowhere.

But I will close with is that don’t just use words. Words are void. Do action. I’m not saying you have to pay the rent for homeless person. I’m saying do good where you are. So many opportunities exist and so few take the opportunity because they can’t be bothered for a little bit of time.

I don’t have much but I have various abilities and give when I can. Life is extremely difficult physically, mentally, and spiritually. But, helping others in one way or another has never stopped for me. It shouldn’t for you.

The two people who came to rescue my when the RV broke down, one in the desert and the other in Utah, aren’t Christians, and to put it in one person’s words, “I find God no different than Santa Claus.” But, God used them both to help me.

You see — they had the actions we should have as Christians but don’t. So, next time you see that person broken down, getting that card declined, with worn and tattered clothes or shoes, needing help carrying something, opening a door, etc. move to action. Show love. Be love. Don’t just say you love. And see both your life and their lives change.